Deep Within
by Bell loves cookies
Summary: Lana Reed survived the 73th Hunger Games. Being the new District 4 victor, the 18 year old girl will have to deal with the pain and misery that comes with it. Watch as she battles with the feeling of guilt, depression and flashbacks from her Games - I suck at summaries please forgive me.(OC/Finnick) Some chapters will contain violence or mature content(they'll have a warning)
1. Chapter 1

_**A.N.: Hi everyone new stooory ! Feel free to leave any feedback, Hope you like it!**_

 _I once thought that winning the games was the worst part. I've never been so wrong in my whole life._

When I opened my eyes everything was bright. White walls, white light, white sheets. It was almost as if I had just woken up from a bad dream. I wish it was a bad dream.

"I won." I muttered.

It didn't felt like victory or like I had survived. I felt dead, I wished I was dead. I should have died in the arena.

"You did." I heard a familiar voice.

Looking to my right I blinked at the tall muscular figure that stood next to me. My mentor sat next to my bed, his sea-green eyes scanning me with a mix of relief and pain.

"I'm so happy to see you again Lana." He told me grabbing my hand.

I blinked a few more times as I remembered my last moments in the arena.

" _ **It's you and me Reed." the tall blonde stated getting closer to me. "I must admit. When I first saw you I've never thought that you would survive until this point."**_

 _ **I didn't answer as I scanned all his movements. His left hand gripped a spear, the same he used to kill Peter. I hated him for killing my partner, but I didn't want to kill him.**_

 _ **The seventeen-year-old took a few more steps closer causing me to tight the grip I had in my throwing knives.**_

" _ **I'm going home Lana. You can't stop me."**_

" _ **I'm sorry Jax but I have to go home too." I apologized.**_

 _ **My words triggered him into charging in my direction, spear pointing right at me. Jax was strong and muscular, but he wasn't smart or any faster than me. With a quick movement I threw one of my knives hitting in his lower abdomen. He winced and I didn't wait for him to start moving again, throwing another knife I hit him in the chest.**_

 _ **Jax fell on his knees with a small stream of blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. I got closer to him and kicked the spear out of his hands. He was now laughing and whimpering at the same time. He pierced my soul with his blue eyes filled Insanity and misery.**_

" _ **Please, make it quick." He begged.**_

 _ **Holding my breath, I grabbed my last knife and with a quick movement I slit his throat. Blood spilled through the cut covering my hands.**_

 _ **As the cannon went off I felt myself falling to the ground. I curled myself and screamed at the top of my lungs as the voice that announced my victory before I started to cry. This wasn't victory. This was inhumane.**_

I swallowed the bump that formed in my throat from the memories.

"I can't go home Finnick." I said pushing myself up forcing myself to sit on the bed.

"Lana…"

"I can't… My mother. What will my mother think of me?" I questioned in a shaky voice.

Finnick tightened the grip on my hand causing me to look at him.

"You did what you had to do." The twenty-two year old spoke. " I'm sure she misses you and that she'll be happy to have you back."

I managed to form a small smile that lasted a few seconds before biting my lip to keep myself from crying.

"I shouldn't be the one here. Peter was stronger." I muttered " Jax was stronger… I should be dead."

"Don't say that." My mentor scolded in a soft voice "I'm happy you're here. I've never stopped believing you. I knew I would see you again. "

"Everyone saw the fragile little blonde girl from 4 . She turned out to be a ruthless killer…"

"You did what you had to do." Finnick insisted "We did what we had to do."


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please give me your feedback, it means a lot! Also, swing by my bio, there I have some list of faceclaims for my OCs and links to some pictures of outfits and photos I use as refs for the arena, thanks for your attention! (Yes, this chapter has been rewritten)**

 **Finnick's POV**

I sat on a couch sipping in a colorful drink as I watched Lana who sat across from me. Legs crossed and hands delicately placed on her lap. She wore a plain dark blue blouse with a pair light jeans. Her long fair locks framed her delicate face. She truly looked beautiful.

"About two weeks ago Peter was walking around over there." She started nodding to the corner of the lounge. Her words came quietly and calmly from her delicate lips. "He was pretending to be this strong character, but I knew him since we were young. Of course he had always wanted to win the games one day, but he was also scared of it."

I didn't mention it, but I remember thinking Peter to be a fool. Gifted with fighting skills, but cursed with hubris and pride.

 _ **I paced around the lounge as the train sped towards the Capitol, observing the two tributes I had to mentor this year.**_

 _ **The girl was the eldest, just a couple of years younger than me though her gentle face may fool many to mistake her for a younger girl. Her long blonde mane is up in a ponytail and her brown eyes wander through all the food, drinks and luxury that surrounded us.**_

 _ **The boy also had young features, but I knew he was seventeen. He was fair-haired and had the District 4 green eyes.**_

 _ **Lana- at least I think it was her name- sat in one of the sofas while her partner decided to look around at all the stuff.**_

" _ **What are the other careers this year?" She asked catching my attention.**_

" _ **District 1 seems strong this year." I said recalling what I saw from the other reapings on the television "2 not so much. The girl is barely thirteen and the boy is at most fifteen years old."**_

" _ **You won at fourteen." Lana pointed, she was smart.**_

" _ **It's a good point." I reckoned.**_

" _ **They're kids." The boy bickered "I'd take them out in a second."**_

 _ **Lana looked over at him but soon decided to ignore his comment and looked back at me.**_

" _ **Should we form an alliance?" she asked**_

" _ **If you want to, it's easier to start the games." I advised "But be careful. Never let your guard down, nothing will stop them to kill you both in their sleep when they see you as a threat."**_

" _ **Unless I kill them first…" Peter spoke sitting on the couch next to Lana with a defying look.**_

 _ **Lana nodded taking in all the knowledge I had to transmit to her. She was smart but still humble and like any career she should know how to fight. Peter was the complete opposite, he seemed strong and capable of fighting but unlike Lana he wasn't willing to hear what I had to say.**_

" _ **What angle should we play?" the girl continued her questions "You know, in order to sponsors take a liking in us."**_

" _ **As for the looks, Capitolians will think you're good looking and your stylist will make sure to enhance that." I pointed speaking to Lana "As for the personality you should play a sweet and charming character. Normally they like and feel more connected to tributes who play it that way."**_

" _ **If we are going to try to make an alliance with the other careers should we go for the Cornucopia?" this time Peter was the one asking.**_

" _ **No, stay back." I responded immediately "Let the other four deal with the initial blood bath then step in and get your weapons. That is, of course, if you make the alliance."**_

" _ **That would only portray us as weak." Lana remarked "What if they feel like they don't us as allies anymore for that and turn on us."**_

" _ **She's right. I'd rather help the careers take the cornucopia than be killed in the blood bath." Peter said.**_

" _ **This is my opinion and this is what I would do." I stated "But every year is different and you haven't met the other tributes yet or know their scores."**_

 _ **The brown eyed girl scanned me as I spoke, reading all the details and all the gestures. For the first time I felt like she could be a winner. Smart, patient and perceptive.**_

 _ **Not even with Ron Stafford I predicted he would win. At first my now fellow Victor seemed shy and calm. He turned out to be a raging killer.**_ _ **Allied with the careers. They wouldn't let him lead, which led to him being a victor. Later on he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and psychopathy. I guess that explained a lot.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: Hi guys, here's another one, please let me know what you think, it means a lot. (warning: there's some violent content in this chapter)**

 **Lana's POV**

Every step I took to move out of the train seemed to drain all the energy that I had. The one thing I wanted the most was to come back home, by now crippling anxiety took over my body.

I had killed 4 people in that arena with my own hands. Throwing knives or no throwing knives, I killed them.

I had to blink a few times to get used to District 4's sun to see the crowd that waited for my arrival cheering and clapping. I looked at Finnick from behind my shoulder with a soft smile. They didn't hate me.

My eyes rifled the people, looking my mother's face and there she was. Her striking blue eyes smiled at me and I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from hysterically crying from happiness to see her face.

Stepping down the train I ran among the people into her arms and then I allowed myself to cry.

"I'm so happy to have you back Lana." She said squeezing me in her arms.

"I missed you so much mom." I sobbed against her shoulder.

It didn't take us long to move into our new home at the Victors' Village. A white marble rectangular mansion, with a ridiculous number of divisions. The garden was green and well-kept and it had some palm trees surrounding it.

Among the twelve houses in the Village, mine was between two other mansions habited by Victors I hadn't had the pleasure to meet yet, due to their mentally ill state. One was in colors of brown and the other one in a soft yellow tone. Finnick's was a light pearly tone, three houses away, just across the street.

"It's a nice place." My mother said the first night we spent there.

"It is." I acknowledge while I managed to pierce some shells with a silver needle.

I could feel my mother's worried stare. Genevieve Reed wasn't unaware of the fact that Victors came back to the District more impaired than an old torn piece of cloth.

"Lana… listen." The old woman sighed, reaching out for my hands. "You don't have to talk about if you don't want to."

"Mom…" I mumbled.

"But I don't want you to ache all by yourself." my mother added.

"You don't have to worry about it." I squeezed her hands showing her a soft smile.

It would have been much easier to tell my mother the truth, but I couldn't do it to her. She saw what I had to do to come back alive. I knew she had watched every single second of those 6 days, that must have been hard enough for her, I can't put this weight on her shoulders.

 _ **I blink a few times to get accustomed with the light trying to force back all my fears. I needed to be brave right now. The arena was some sort of abandoned city. Trashed buildings, broken windows, trashed cars. The only thing that looked well preserved was the geometrically designed metallic structure right in front of me.**_

 _ **As I saw the countdown I ran through my mind the plan I traced with the other careers. Help take the cornucopia and stop whoever wants to take it from us. In that moment I didn't know why I volunteered, I wasn't willing to kill. But I had to, I had no choice. You can't see them as people, I thought, they all want to kill you.**_

 _ **The gong went off and before I could think I was sprinting into the Cornucopia. Diamond, the girl from 1 was the first to get there grabbing a bow and a pack of arrows taking just a second for her to start shooting them at the tributes that surrounded her.**_

 _ **I was the second to arrive and the first thing I did was to get my hands on a belt of throwing knives. I looked around me and I could see that the girl from 5 had got herself an axe and was now looking at me, devouring me with my eyes getting ready to swing the axe in my direction.**_

 _ **I grabbed one of my knives and when I was about to throw it, a spear penetrated through her neck.**_

 _ **The girl fell to the ground and I could see Jax, the boy from 1.**_

" _ **Thanks." I said as he took the spear back from the girl's cold body.**_

" _ **Let's finish this." He said walking in the direction of District 11's girl who was hiding behind a pile of food.**_

 _ **Her dark brown eyes looked at us begging for mercy.**_

" _ **I had your back, now you have mine." Jax said gesturing to the small frightened girl.**_

" _ **What?" I asked looking between both Jax and the girl.**_

" _ **We don't want weak girls in our team." Jax mocked "Prove you're not one."**_

 _ **I took a deep breath, this was it. I had to show the careers I was strong otherwise I would be the first they would try to kill during the night. I had to show them what I could do.**_

 _ **Taking my knife, I aimed and closed my eyes before throwing it. The knife pierced the girl's right eye making it a painless and quick death.**_

" _ **Why the frown Reed?" Jax asked patting my shoulder "She was dead anyway."**_

 **Finnick's POV**

It always felt nice to be home again. I hated every single trip to the Capitol for obvious reasons. Here in District 4 it was just me and the ocean, but this year was different, I came back with someone else.

I've been spending time with Lana a since we came back last week. We mainly take walks on the beach or go for a swim and her mother Genevieve usually invites me to have dinner with the two of them since I live alone in my house.

I knock on the door of her white house and it only takes her a few seconds to answer it.

"Hi, how are you today?" she asks stepping out of her house before closing the door.

The girl was wearing a baby pink shirt, shorts and flats and, as always, she brought a small container with her where she keeps the shells that she collects during our strolls.

"Good, it's a warm day and the company couldn't be better." I told her causing her pale cheeks to flush a little. "And you? I haven't asked you how you're liking your house yet."

"It's nice, of course." Lana said looking back at her house as we stepped away from it. "My favorite part is the bed, it feels like sinking into a soft marshmallow every night."

"Yeah, that's the stuff." I chuckled "Believe me, after all these years it still feels like heaven to lay down."

Once we got to the beach we walked side by side listening to the crashing waves as we always do. The sand squished slowly through my toes as we gaily walked down the shoreline. My all-time favorite place to be was the beach and from what I could see, Lana feels the same way.

"Finnick…" she called me once we stopped at our usual spot to sit down watching the ocean. "I've been thinking."

"About?" I looked at her observing her facial expressions while her eyes fixated on the ocean.

"Will I have to mentor other tributes?" the blonde frowned at the horizon " You know, like you did with me and Peter."

"Yes." I answered against my will, I couldn't stomach to see her upset "You have to during the first years."

"You've been doing it since you were 14." She pointed " Why are you still mentoring? Why do you keep doing that to yourself? You hide it behind a smirk, but I know it breaks you Finn. There are other Victors."

Damn… She was a good reader. In that moment I found myself staring at her thinking of how did she penetrated so deep into my soul.

"You're right." It was the only thing I could say "It breaks me. But the other Victors are either insane or a lot older than me. Mags doesn't deserve to go through it again, so I do it."

"I know." The blonde nodded turning to look at me "You don't have to do it anymore though."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not insane and I'm young." She added "I can keep mentoring by myself from now on. You don't have to go back."

My eyes connected with hers while my hand reached for hers. A mix of feelings raced through my brain and heart.

"Lana, I will never leave you alone." I promised her holding her hand "That includes mentoring. I'll be by your side until you don't want to do it anymore."


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.: Hi guys! Oh my god thank you so much for all the feedback you've been sending me, it really means a lot. Here's another chapter. It has a bit of a time lapse, hope you enjoy it though! (Warning: Violent content)**

 **Lana's POV**

 _I was back in the arena, I could recognize the trashed buildings that surrounded me and the cornucopia right in front of me._

 _From inside of it I could see a figure coming out. He was tall, muscular and blonde. He was Jax Collin and he was carrying something in his left hand._

 _As soon as I figured what it was I wanted to move and run away but, for some reason, my body was not responding._

" _You see this?" he yelled pointing at what he was holding "Look at her you fucking monster."_

 _My eyes trailed down to his hand and now I could see clearly that he was carrying the head of District 11 girl from her brown hair._

" _You did this Lana." Jax said getting closer and closer to me. "You killed me and her. Now it's your turn."_

 _That being said Jax grabbed his spear and pierced it right through my chest._

I woke up gasping for air, fighting against two steady hands that held me from both shoulders.

"It's okay Lana, it's me." Finnick assured me "You were having a bad dream."

My frown slowly vanished as my eyes scanned his face. This was real, Finnick was here with me and I was in my house in District 4, not in the arena.

I sat myself on the bed looking around my room while catching my breath, I notice the sun is already way up in the sky to be a morning hour. Looking back at Finnick I ran a hand through my messy hair. The man was observing me waiting for some kind of reaction.

"What are you doing here?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"Your mother let me in." the bronze-haired shrugged, sitting down on my bed next to me before facing me with a small smirk. "What? Are you not happy to see me?"

I opened my mouth to answer him with a comment as sassy as his, but instead I just rolled my eyes trying to hide my now burning cheeks. The truth is that I was always happy to see him.

It had been almost a year since I came back from my Games and Finnick has been taking care of me in a way that no one ever did before. I leaned on him and he leaned on me when he needed me to be his rock.

"What time is it?" I ended up asking rubbing my eyes once more.

"Almost three." He answered "Were you partying without me last night?"

"You know I didn't." I mumbled with a serious expression.

The man pursed his lips knowing the reason why I didn't get much sleep during the night. I'd rather stay up until exhaustion than fall into a nightmare the whole night.

"Come on, let's get something for you to eat, sleepyhead." Finnick shrugged the tension off.

He kissed my forehead before getting to his feet and pushing me out of the bed.

"Is that my t-shirt?" Finnick interrogated nodding to my "pajamas" that consisted of a Finnick's stolen shirt and grey cotton shorts.

"Oh yeah, mom did your laundry." I replied with an innocent smile.

"And you stole it?" he tried not to laugh.

"It looks better on me Odair." I rolled my eyes as we made our way into the kitchen.

"Good morning." My mother greeted with her radiant smile, leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed "You are looking good today."

"Well, I'm wearing Finnick's shirt." I joked before faking a ridiculous Capitol accent "It's the finest Capitol Couture."

Grabbing a slice of bread and spreading some butter in it Finnick handed me a mug of coffee and milk.

I looked him in his green eyes and smiled thanking him. There was no doubt I had feelings for him, but did he have feelings for me? He hasn't ever made a move on me other than his sassy comments, but those are made as a joke, or expressed his feelings either. Was I just too damaged from the Games?

 **Finnick's POV**

The Victory Tour was in the upcoming week, so I was worried about Lana, facing all the districts wouldn't be easy. I knew she had nightmares, but she rarely opened up about them.

Nonetheless there was something that worried me, the last stop of the tour before coming back. I haven't told Lana what the Capitol made me do.

A trip to the Capitol for me meant I had to _service_ Capitolians. I haven't ever told her this not because I'm ashamed of it -which I was, even the thought of it made my stomach turn- But because I feared that once we are in the Capitol the President might call her in to have a little _chat._

She was young, beautiful and very attractive. I was sure that I wasn't the only one to think of her that way. I clenched my fists at the thought of other man wanting and using her for their pleasure. It disgusted me.

"Finnick?" I heard her soft voice calling "Are you okay? You look tense."

My face softened as my eyes met with hers. Her hair was still wet from our little swim framing her face with its soft curls.

"The Victory Tour is in less than a week." I commented.

"I know." She replied, the words coming heavily from her mouth.

"Don't worry." I told her "I'll be with you."

Her face softened and the corners of her lips formed a small smile.

 **Lana's POV**

There I was again sitting in the train that would take me to the Capitol, but this time the trip would be much longer. I was wearing a simple dark wine colored blouse with a pair of black jeans. I was happy the prep team didn't posh me up for this.

Sitting on the lounge I rested my head on Finnick's shoulder.

"Here." he said handing her a piece of paper "You'll read this once we get to 12."

I tilted my head taking the paper to read it.

"But this is so informal." I complained straightening myself "I didn't particularly know the tributes from 12… They died during the bloodbath. But, still… the families."

"You don't have to read it if you don't want to. You can say whatever you feel like." Finnick shrugged before whispering his next words into my ear "But remember, all Panem will be watching, President Snow will be watching. Be careful."

Once we got to District 12 I was escorted to a small improved stage. Cameras were pointed directed at me and my face was being projected on big screens behind me. The families of both tributes were aligned in front of the picture of the diseased and they all looked at me with feelings I couldn't quite figure out. Was it hate? Was it pity?

After doing what I was told: reading from the card that Finnick gave me, smiling for the cameras and waving I was escorted back to the train in order to travel to District 11. I was already astonished by 12's poverty, but I've heard that 11 is way worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.: Hi guys! Once more, thank you so much for all the feedback you've been sending me, it really means a lot. Here's another chapter. Stay tuned because the next one will be up in a couple of hours! Hope you enjoy.**

 **Lana's POV**

I was laying on my back in my tour train bedroom staring at the ceiling. My body was tired and my brain was begging me for me to sleep, but every time I closed my eyes I couldn't help but see the face of District 11 girl's face. Her brown eyes begging me to spare her and her delicate face contorted in fear.

I got up to my feet with a stiff movement and wandered to the lounging area.

The room was now dark being only lighten by the dim clarity that came from the moon and stars. I looked at them for a second from the glass walls that the lounge had. It was the last room of the train so you could see what we were leaving behind as we sped towards District 11. As always the train was moving at a high speed and we could barely feel the movement from inside.

"Can't sleep?" a familiar voice startled me.

Turning around, my eyes met a figure that I recognized to be Finnick who stood against the door frame.

"I'm sorry." He apologized "Didn't mean to startle you."

I observed the tall muscular man as he walked across the room in my direction before taking my hand and leading me to one of the couches. Sitting next to him I rested my head against him.

"Finn… 11's going to hate me." I finally spoke. "How and I supposed to face a whole District that sees me as the one who killed their female tribute. She wasn't even attacking me. She was trying to run away."

"Lana, when I was watching that moment I knew that if you didn't kill her, Jax would have killed her for you and you'd be next." The man told me hugging me against him.

"I know and I guess I knew that. That's why I did it." I observed. "I can't believe I did this to myself Finn, I volunteered. I actually though I could win the games, but I was wrong. There are no winners …"

"Only survivors." Finnick finished my sentence with a whisper. "You have to get some sleep Lana." His sea-green eyes trailed of as he got up and held a gentle hand to help me get to my feet.

"You too." Grabbing his hand, I let him take me back to my room where he waits for me to lay down in my bed.

"Good night." Finnick said before turning to leave.

"Wait." I called causing the man to turn back "Can you..hm… stay?"

His lips parted a little but no answer come from them. Without a word Finnick entered the room and made his way to my bed where he laid next to me.

"Thank you." I said finding his green eyes in the dark.

"It's okay." He whispered, his hand surrounding my waist in a warm hug that lulled me into a dreamless and peaceful sleep.

 **Finnick's POV**

The next morning I woke up with a few beams of light coming through the curtains. My arm was still wrapped around Lana's waist and I notice she snuggled closer to me during her sleep.

I took a deep breath noticing her soft flowery sent. The warm sensation of her body close to mine made me feel safe. The whole experience of sharing my bed like this and being close to Lana, who didn't see me like a sex object, made me feel secure, unlike when I _service_ other women in the Capitol. There was no lust or second, there was just the feeling of comfort, safety and care.

My hand moved from her back to her soft curls to play with them. I wish we could stay here forever and forget everything: the games, the pain, the Capitol.

"Good morning." I heard her say against my chest.

Lana moved a little so her warm brown eyes could meet mine.

"Did I wake you?" I asked in concern kissing her forehead.

"Nah. It's fine." She showed me a sweet smile "Did you sleep well?"

I nodded with a small smile in my face. I didn't know what was it with this girl but she managed that I actually had a good night of sleep. No dreams, no nightmares, no insomnia, something I hadn't experienced for a couple of years.

"Amazingly well." I told her with honesty. "You?"

"Peacefully." The blonde answered "Thank you Finnick, for staying tonight."

"I'm the one who should be thanking." I pointed "I haven't had a good night of sleep in forever."

"I'm glad I could help." Lana smiled softly.

I knew that if I expressed my feelings for her she would be a target for President Snow to hurt me. He had already killed my family, I couldn't let him hurt Lana too. But in that moment there was no Snow or Capitol, it was just me and her under the covers and I couldn't help it anymore, I just had to know how she feels.

I pulled Lana close and my lips met hers in a soft small kiss. I felt her stiffen at first in hesitation and I thought she might push me away, but then she kissed me back. Her lips felt like smooth silk and my chest exploded in emotions I had never experience before. She wanted this as much as I did.

Lana's soft body pressed against mine. My hands found her hips and pulled her in, and hers ran through my hair. Her lips drew back momentarily before they started working on my neck. Suppressing a groan, I placed myself on top of her and my eyes met her chocolaty ones.

Her light hair was splayed around her and I couldn't help to think that her messy hair and her flushed cheeks were beautiful. I kissed her one more time, hands travelling in a desperate need to explore her curves. She nibbled at my neck with a giggle as my hands ran over her breasts.

I started pushing the bottom of her shirt up her body. I needed to see her, I needed to feel her. But I felt her body stiffen under mine.

"Lana?" I asked pulling away for a few seconds. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pressure you."

"It's okay." She spoke in a whisper. "It's just that…"

"We have time." I stated with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah." She mimicked my smile.

 **Lana's POV**

As I walked into the stage at District 11 I couldn't force myself to fake a smile. The hate that came from 11's people penetrated me. I understood why they felt it towards me, I hated myself too.

I looked at both families, like in all Districts they were aligned in front of a picture of the tribute in cause. Looking at the boys photo I felt sorry for him, but I didn't see him throughout the games or knew how he died, but looking at the picture of the girl made my stomach turn.

I looked at her family, there was a lady on her 40s grabbing two small children by the hand. I took that woman's daughter away from her and the kids who shouldn't be more than only five years old had to saw me do it.

It took me a lot of courage to read my speech without crying. My hands couldn't stop shaking and once I was back on the train my eyes were filled up with tears. I was a monster.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.: I'm so sorry, I know this isn't much of a delay but for some reason this chapter didn't upload when I tried to publish it. God… Still, I hope you like it and find it in your heart to please forgive me!**

 **Lana's POV**

 _ **I was playing with the flashlight when I heard the commotion coming from the streets. Peter, the rest of the careers and I had managed to gather all the supplies we could from the cornucopia and moved to one of the abandoned buildings. We figured that from the top of it would be easier to locate the remaining tributes.**_

 _ **I got up to my feet in a flash taking a look at Peter who slept peacefully across the room.**_

" _ **Guys, do you hear that?" I ask in order to wake up the rest of the careers.**_

 _ **Diamond, the girl from 1 was to first to get up to her feet rushing to one of the glassless windows.**_

" _ **These dumb pieces of shit." She scuffed with a smirk "They think we're away so they are trying to raid what's left."**_

 _ **Jax followed her with a sick smirk "What a treat" he kissed the cheek of his district partner before looking back at me. "You stay here with these two." He nodded to the district 2 tributes "They need watching. Otherwise they might get killed and leave our supplies to be stolen."**_

" _ **We can defend ourselves Jax." Blake spitted, the thirteen-year-old boy from district 2.**_

" _ **We'll see about that once I slit open both your throats" Jax replied with a unrestrained look before leaving the trashed room with Diamond and Peter.**_

 _ **Both District 2 looked at me with defiance as we waited to hear the cannons that were to come. Both kids thought I was about to kill them, but I wouldn't do that.**_

" _ **I'm not going to kill you." I assured "Relax. But I will defend myself if you attack."**_

" _ **We are two." This time the girl spoke.**_

" _ **Yeah, I could kill the two of you in a heartbeat from a distance." I raised one eyebrow trying to keep myself out of trouble.**_

 _ **In that moment an arrow came from the dark, flying through the room shutting the girl up.**_

 _ **Blake turned around swinging and throwing his axe in the shooter's direction and the girl from 3 fell to her knees from her hiding spot with blood dripping from her head before hitting the ground.**_

 _ **Soon enough the boy who I recognized to be Trevor from district 9 came from the shadows charging in my direction.**_

 _ **With a swift movement I threw my knife that he succeeded to dodge at last minute. Before I knew it his fist was hitting my right cheek making me stumble back.**_

 _ **The boy didn't give me an opportunity to breath or attack back before throwing himself at me, his hands choking my neck.**_

 _ **My lips opened as I tried to get as much hair in my lungs. I tried to move but the massive boys weight was too much for me. As I started to see black dots from the lack of oxygen I could see the madness in Trevor's eyes.**_

 _ **My hands reached for my belt as I tried to grab another one of my knives and when I did, I swung it digging the sharp object in his neck.**_

 _ **His grip on my neck softened and I could breathe again with small desperate coughs while blood drained from his wound covering me.**_

" _ **Help." I tried to call, but there was no voice coming from my sore throat.**_

 _ **Finally, Trevor's body was removed from top of me and I managed to get to my feet to get ready to fight once more.**_

 _ **This time the District 2 boy looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry, but if I'm going home I have to do this."**_

 _ **I didn't want to do it, but it was either me or Jax who would kill him in a much crueler way.**_

 _ **Fighting the lack of oxygen that my body was feeling I threw one of the few throwing knives that I still had left hitting him with a merciful headshot.**_

A piercing scream tore through the quiet train. My brown eyes opened, anxiously looking around. I cleaned a layer of sweat that covered my forehead.

Trashing around, I desperately escaped from my sheets ending up falling on my knees. Sobbing, I got up and stumbled around in the dark room looking for a way out, but I ended up stumbling and falling again in the middle of the room.

"Lana!" a male voice called after opening the door in an urgent movement.

I was wrapped in his strong but gentle arms in a second, my breathing still heavy.

"Lana it's me. It's okay." The man pulled me away holding me at arm's length so he could look me in the eye. "You're safe, honey. You are not in the arena anymore. You're here with me Lana."

I looked up at him with shaky but calmer breaths.

"We're in the Victory Tour. You won the games. In 10 days you'll be back home. We'll go back to our home. To district 4."

Once my breathing came back to a normal state his lips met mine in a sweet, small kiss before he embraced me again in his protective arms once more. 


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.: Hi guys, I know it had been a few days, but RL has been a bit of a biaaatch. Anyway, here you have another chapter, I already have the next two ones written down, they just need a bit of proof-reading (it won't be long until they are up for you to read). One more thing: thank you so much for the follows and favorites, they make me really happy and proud.**

 **Lana's POV**

After a few days of the Victory Tour, I could feel the miserable remaining fragments of my soul shutting down. That was the only way I could face all the Districts after they've watched me kill their own almost one year ago, but in our last stop before Home, I felt it regain life again like a loaf of breath full of hope and desire to go back home.

The Capitol part was the most important one. Everyone would be watching every single movement I did but right now all I wanted was for me to go home with Finnick.

I held on to his muscular arm as we walked among the extravagant rich people who cheered and congratulated me on my victory. I wondered why there was a need for that. Why should I be applauded for the murder of innocent children. Even after my victory, I felt that my life couldn't be any more worthless.

"You look lovely today." Finnick said giving my arm a sweet squeeze.

"The prep team did a great job." I pointed with a smile.

I wore a long ocean blue dress and golden jewels that resembled the sea life, my hair straightened and up in a long ponytail.

Finnick and I had been acting really close, like a couple, although none of us had make an effort to make it official. I could feel that the thought of people knowing about us as an official item other than the simple rumors that we have been sleeping in the same room and spending and awful amount of time together, concerned him, like the secrecy would protect me in some way I couldn't quite figure out yet.

"Finnick." A male with a slurred speech and drunken breath approached us with a smile " Mags not here with you.?"

"Nah, she needs to rest. She's had enough from all _this_." Finnick spoke, from the sudden relaxed mannerisms I could see that these two man were friends. "Lana, this is Haymitch Abernathy from District 12. Victor of the 50th Hunger Games."

The whiskey smelling man waved a dismissive hand before continuing a casual conversation with Finnick. I take it as a cue to roam away from the two.

I glanced at the infinite dishes available for the Capitolians, but I don't feel like eating. I'd just seen the poverty and hunger in most of the Districts and here people are drinking a liquid to make themselves sick so they can carry on eating.

"You look even more beautiful in person." A man spoke from behind me.

I turned facing a man in his twenties, his hair matched my dress and his eyes, but I could see from his well-trimmed beard and carefully shaped eyebrows that he had dark brown hair.

"Thank you." I managed to say looking around desperate to find Finnick as if I couldn't handle the small talk without him.

"Where are my manners…" he continued speaking with an extravagant Capitolian accent before grabbing my hand and placing a gentle kiss on it. "Let me introduce myself, I am Thorburn Galloway."

I felt my body stiffen at his approach "It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Lana, Lana Reed."

The man threw back his head like I had just told the most hilarious joke.

"I assure you, my dear, I am very aware of who you are." Thorburn raised and eyebrow "You see, my wife and I were very happy to sponsor you."

"Thank you, that means a lot." I managed to say although the fact that people supported the games and actually enjoyed it enough to sponsor or bet on kids for them to have better chances at killing other innocent children made my stomach turn.

"Of course I couldn't say no to a beauty as big as yours and my wife found Finnick very… persuasive."

 **Finnick's POV**

Between greeting and thanking some of Lana's sponsors and catching up with the other Victors, I noticed Lana had wandered off from my side and was now speaking with a man who I recognized to be one of her sponsors. I had to please his wife in order to convince them to sponsor Lana throughout her games.

Seeing how the man spoke and approached her I couldn't help but feel my heart freeze with not only jealousy but also concern.

Lana's a very beautiful woman with a very attractive figure. I'd already figured that the Capitol would start looking at her as a sexual object, like they do with me and some other Victors, but I tried to push those thoughts away, but it was now clear that she would be called to have a littler chat with the President after the feast.

 **Lana's POV**

My heels clacked as I walked inside the room where President Snow was waiting me.

My heart raced, what could the President want from me? I saw in Finnick's face that he knew, it was impossible not to perceive the panic in his eyes.

"President Snow, what do I owe this pleasure?" I greeted stopping in front of a white marble desk where he sat, wearing a white suit with a white rose on its pocket.

"Miss Reed." The man held a frightening smile "Please sit."

Doing as I was told, I sat facing him with my hands clutched on my lap.

"You must be wondering why I called you here… I'll be the most direct as possible, I believe it will be much easier for us to understand each other."

I nodded in response.

"Many men from the Capitol have expressed their desire of spending their time with you, and their willing to spend a reasonable amount of money for it."

"I don't understand sir." I frowned digging my nails on the palm of my hands.

"I'm gently _asking_ you to work as a courtesan for the Capitol." President Snow rested his hands, fingers connected before speaking again. "You have a mother Miss Reed, isn't that correct? I assume she's very dear to you. I wonder what would be of you if something was to happen to her."

"I'll do it." I instantly replied to his threat. "I'll do it. For my mother."

"Great." The President smiled once again "I'm glad we could understand each other. I expect you to start once you come back to the Capitol for the Hunger Games."

"Yes sir. Do other tributes have to do this?" I asked causing him to laugh.

"Miss Reed, you should speak with your lover." The President spoke in a mocking tone "I assumed you were close, I guess not as you and I thought."


End file.
